Marcie’s Waffles Are the Best in Town

By Dario Bijelac
By Dario Bijelac

The diner was closed forever. The Closed sign hung on the door, redundant as a spoon in a cup of soup, but Marcie would never turn it over. Never take it down. It was her way of keeping the riffraff out, and these days, there was a hell of a lot of riffraff.

They could smell the syrup. Her supply was running out, but she sprayed ammonia around the doors and windows when she warmed it up. It wasn’t enough, but it could dull the smell. She had the shotgun for any unwelcome visitors and a dwindling stock of meat in the freezer for any welcome ones. The former never made it to the door, but she always checked the latter through the glass to see if they were going bad. One look at Alice, though, and she knew she deserved better than meat.

She fixed the girl some waffles, and the diner filled with the aroma of warm batter. They both inhaled in silence. A much more comforting smell than the sizzle of dead things, Marcie thought. The girl offered her name as a courtesy, and the two syllables wafted through the air and mixed with the scent in Marcie’s mind. The girl looked the right age, too, about 14. This felt right. Like before.

When Marcie slapped a couple waffles onto a plate, Alice’s eyes went wide like she’d only been eating rocks for weeks. For all Marcie knew, she had. She was gaunt, ribs showing through the rags she had on, hair a mess. A scratch on her left cheek, deep. Marcie didn’t ask where it came from, but as she traced the path on her own face, she thought it could have come from fingers. Or what used to be fingers.

“This is real nice,” Alice said, between hungry gulps, barely chewing. “What’s that blue stuff in it?”

“Blueberries,” said Marcie. Last ones she had, but that didn’t matter as long as she still had chocolate chips

“Huh. My mom never put blueberries in waffles.” A pause, the next words crawling out as if fighting against a memory. “Fruit in waffles, that’s so weird.” The pall passed, and as she returned to eating, her face was joyful, satiated. In the right light, at the right moments, she looked like Cynda. Just in those fleeting seconds, and then she didn’t, not because of the light but because Marcie chose not to see her. She would never see her again, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to see her in this outcast waif who just stumbled in out of the wastelands. Not this one, not the last one, not any one of the godda–

Marcie relaxed her grip on the syrup bottle. She’d almost broken the handle. Couldn’t have that.

From behind the counter, Marcie watched Alice devour her food as she’d done with her customers before the Meltdown. Her favorite customer was a big trucker named Maximilian who insisted on being called Maximilian, never Max. He wouldn’t respond to Max, and Marcie loved seeing the passers-through try to engage with him. They didn’t know the code to interacting with him. They didn’t have that connection, not like she did.

Maximilian was out there. Maybe he’d found Cynda. Maybe he would take care of her.

Alice gulped down half a glass of water. Milk would have been better, but it had gone sour as Marcie’s business some time ago. One by one, her staples went bad. That’s how the people went too. One by one.

“So they don’t come in here?” Alice said with trepidation.

“No,” said Marcie. “They don’t come in here.”

“Not ever?”

“The door holds. The sign says Closed.”

Alice chuckled, then let it linger, like she hadn’t laughed at anything in ages. “I don’t think they read signs, lady.”

Maybe the shape of the sign, the length of the word, was a signal burned into the back of their brains, like a red light. They‘d respond to it like fire: stay away.

Cynda never cared what the sign said. She’d push the door open and call, “Yo, Moms, how about some choco waffles?” She’d take her seat at the counter and ask what Max had done today. She never called him Maximilian when he wasn’t around. Everything was short with her; Marcie was surprised she actually pronounced the entire word “waffles.”

The day of the Meltdown, Cynda left the diner with the words “Coulda used more syrup.”

Alice picked at her plate with the fork, soaking the bits of waffle in syrup. Marcie’s eyes narrowed. Stupid, stupid of her to let her in. She’d given her too much syrup. She had to keep some back. Waffle mix, chocolate chips, syrup. The essentials.

So much syrup left on Alice’s plate. It was going to go to waste. But Marcie could salvage it. This girl had had enough. She’d gotten more than the last one. It had been six days since Khaalidah looked through the glass door, her pleading eyes like Cynda’s when Marcie wouldn’t take her to IHOP. Not as chatty as this one. This one, sitting in someone else’s seat. They were all sitting in someone else’s seat.

“Get out,” Marcie spat, grabbing the plate.

Alice had some waffle in her mouth, and she almost choked in surprise. She chewed quickly and swallowed before squeaking, “What?”

“Get the fuck out of my diner.” Marcie stared at her with dead eyes.

“Okay, okay, lady,” said Alice, pushing herself away from the counter, scrambling to keep her balance. “Thanks for the waffles.” She didn’t look back. She ran to the door.

The sign said “Open.”

Alice threw the door outward and fled back into the wastelands. As the door shut, a bell rang.

There were a few pieces of waffle still left on Alice’s plate, not dry. Marcie picked them up and began squeezing to extract the syrup.

The diner was closed forever.

67 Comments

  1. Stammily says:
    I really enjoyed this story! Especially the line: “They were all sitting in someone else’s seat.”
  2. ghostwritingcow says:
    Stammily Thank you!! And thank you especially for pointing out that line; I’m so glad it worked for you.
  3. ghostwritingcow says:
    Wiswell Thanks, John!
  4. Wiswell says:
    ghostwritingcow My pleasure! I probably owe you some syrup the next time I see you.
  5. theotaylorr says:
    Wiswell ghostwritingcow I was uncertain at first; skeptical even. And now I’m sold and in desperate need of waffles.
  6. ghostwritingcow says:
    Cecily_Kane Aaaah thank you.
  7. Cecily_Kane says:
    OH YEAH ghostwritingcow’s story ALSO ACES THE BECHDEL TEST
    0 dudes, 0 mentions of dudes, I approve
    #Misandry
  8. ghostwritingcow says:
    There is a dude but the female characters don’t talk about him. Cecily_Kane https://twitter.com/Cecily_Kane/status/606243591862816768
  9. didic says:
    ghostwritingcow Cecily_Kane Well, there WAS a dude. Isn’t he probably dead by now?
  10. ghostwritingcow says:
    didic Cecily_Kane KEEP HOPE ALIVE DIDI.
  11. Cecily_Kane says:
    didic ghostwritingcow O wait… I didn’t notice him lolol this is even better
  12. ghostwritingcow says:
    Out of my 7 sales, only 3 pass the Bechdel Test, oops. I have way way more female characters than male characters though. Hrm.
  13. geekstarter says:
    ghostwritingcow Are your stories light on dialogue?
  14. ghostwritingcow says:
    I love dialogue. The four that fail either only have one female character, or two that never talk. geekstarter https://twitter.com/geekstarter/status/606245783747358720
  15. ghostwritingcow says:
    .geekstarter I am counting one without dialogue, and one MAY count if you count psychic alligators.
  16. geekstarter says:
    ghostwritingcow Dialogue is one of the hardest things for me. My characters always have the same voice.
  17. ghostwritingcow says:
    geekstarter People say dialogue is one of my strengths, so I’m hoping I’m doing it right.
  18. geekstarter says:
    ghostwritingcow Of COURSE I could psychic alligators.
  19. geekstarter says:
    ghostwritingcow I have SO MUCH READING to catch up on.
  20. ghostwritingcow says:
    Cecily_Kane didic You don’t see gender, and by gender you mean men.
  21. elliesoderstrom says:
    ghostwritingcow but they pass the Mako Mori test. 🙂
  22. ghostwritingcow says:
    THAT THEY DO. Maybe not one of them. That’s arguable. Look one story has a male protagonist. elliesoderstrom https://twitter.com/elliesoderstrom/status/606248771786137600
  23. ghostwritingcow says:
    booksmugglers Maybe we should invent The Sita Test.
  24. Cecily_Kane says:
    ghostwritingcow didic Hahaha gettin’ there (with real life caveats :p)
    Misandryyyyyy
  25. numbatwoman says:
    Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow dangit I got so excited and then remembered about the other meaning of ace
  26. Cecily_Kane says:
    numbatwoman Oh dear, sorry about that :/ ghostwritingcow
  27. numbatwoman says:
    Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow go back in time and scream YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO at the first people who started shortening it to ace
  28. Cecily_Kane says:
    numbatwoman ghostwritingcow Gah, right. English language has so many words, overlaps were such a problem already
  29. asymbina says:
    Cecily_Kane numbatwoman ghostwritingcow yes, English words very hard
  30. asymbina says:
    Cecily_Kane numbatwoman ghostwritingcow (NB: “word” is a verb in that tweet)
  31. ghostwritingcow says:
    TroyLWiggins Thanks, man!
  32. TroyLWiggins says:
    ghostwritingcow never thought i’d feel so emotional about a story involving waffles. But here we are.
  33. ghostwritingcow says:
    TroyLWiggins I did warn you.
  34. asymbina says:
    TroyLWiggins ghostwritingcow APOCALYPTIC waffles.
  35. TroyLWiggins says:
    asymbina ghostwritingcow so very apocalyptic. I just…I wasn’t ready.
  36. asymbina says:
    TroyLWiggins ghostwritingcow nobody is ready for those kinds of waffles. ;-;
  37. Cecily_Kane says:
    asymbina Lol ya. And thanks numbatwoman for pointing it out. + ghostwritingcow
  38. Cecily_Kane says:
    asymbina numbatwoman ghostwritingcow I’ve been ranting on why we don’t talk more than passing (oof also?) the Bechdel for a while and +
  39. Cecily_Kane says:
    asymbina numbatwoman ghostwritingcow the word distinction had never occurred to me, because different segments of my brain I think.
  40. asymbina says:
    Cecily_Kane numbatwoman ghostwritingcow If you want to have your brain melt for a bit, read this: http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000877.html
  41. numbatwoman says:
    asymbina Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow “I don’t see what’s asexual about this fighter pilot at a-ohhhhhh” -me like every week :v
  42. asymbina says:
    numbatwoman Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow do you also find yourself confused by Mötorhead songs and playing cards? 😉
  43. Cecily_Kane says:
    asymbina numbatwoman ghostwritingcow Hahaha lolsob
  44. Cecily_Kane says:
    numbatwoman asymbina ghostwritingcow Gah this is so ass
  45. asymbina says:
    Cecily_Kane numbatwoman ghostwritingcow the different conjugations of “lie [tell a falsehood]” vs “lie [recline]” didn’t even dawn on me
  46. asymbina says:
    Cecily_Kane numbatwoman ghostwritingcow until I read that blog post. (Actually, read it in book form, Far from the Madding Gerund.)
  47. asymbina says:
    Cecily_Kane numbatwoman ghostwritingcow (which is still a title that makes me giggle like a fiend)
  48. numbatwoman says:
    asymbina Cecily_Kane I’ve studied linguistics and I edit transcripts; you’re gonna have to try harder than that to melt mine 😉
  49. asymbina says:
    numbatwoman Cecily_Kane well, that last sort of brain-jarring thing was when I learned what a clitic was and had it pointed out to me that
  50. asymbina says:
    numbatwoman Cecily_Kane the only one we have in English (the possessive) modifies an entire noun *phrase* – it’s one of those things I’d +
  51. asymbina says:
    numbatwoman Cecily_Kane done without being cognizant of it, because our brains like to do that
  52. numbatwoman says:
    asymbina Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow nah, I read Homestuck which has romance quadrants based on card suits so spades = kismesis
  53. asymbina says:
    numbatwoman Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow I marvel at anyone who can actually keep up with Homestuck. I gave up on it after seeing updates
  54. asymbina says:
    numbatwoman Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow come out faster than I could go through the archives
  55. numbatwoman says:
    asymbina Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow I followed his previous comic so I’ve been reading since the start! I don’t know how others do it
  56. numbatwoman says:
    asymbina Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow I know a lot did it when the trolls were introduced and then during the gigapause year’s hiatus
  57. numbatwoman says:
    asymbina Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow I’ve spent um four years of my life cross stitching a Honestuck thing so I am um in a bit deep
  58. asymbina says:
    numbatwoman Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow the impression I’ve gotten of the Homestuck fandom is that it’s rarely a halfway thing. 🙂
  59. numbatwoman says:
    asymbina oh sometimes I threaten people with “don’t make me talk about Homestuck at you” and they laugh and then I do. Comprehensively.
  60. asymbina says:
    numbatwoman well, if you wanted to do that in language I know nothing of for practice, it’d make just as much sense to me 🙂
  61. LoopdiLou says:
    asymbina numbatwoman Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow Penny, you must explain Homestuck to me. My kids are obsessed.
  62. numbatwoman says:
    LoopdiLou asymbina Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow at its simplest it’s internet friends playing a game to create a universe, and growing up
  63. LoopdiLou says:
    numbatwoman asymbina Cecily_Kane ghostwritingcow At its most complicated?
  64. numbatwoman says:
    LoopdiLou net friends & other net friends, playing & breaking an irregular game to create & destroy universes, growing up & dying & undying
  65. LoopdiLou says:
    numbatwoman Hmmm… I will have to think about that. Thank you.
  66. Murky Master says:
    Wonderful, and mean. Shared.
  67. Murky Master says:
    Great, mean, heartfelt story!

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